Well, I just don’t know what to say. I have a tendency to ignore things I need to do for myself because I don’t have money (or insurance) to do anything about it. I know hiding my head in the sand is not going to solve any problems, but it’s what I do.
I’ve had a swollen gland or lymph node in my right armpit area for a while, don’t remember how long at this point. My baby sister, who is in an LPN program, saw something in her textbook after I told her and showed her, and became even more concerned about me, and has even made sure that I am going to a healthcare clinic, because I cannot afford to go to the doctor that is supposed to be my regular doctor.
It turns out that the mini-test she had me do, drink a wine cooler and see if that swollen thing hurts, was in her textbook, as a sign of lymphoma or Hodgkin’s disease.
Now, I’m more scared than I was before. Cancer is on both sides of my family. I lost an aunt last year to colon cancer. My mother had breast cancer. Several other family members have fought it, some successfully, some not. In addition, both my mother and my grandmother died from massive strokes.
I know that the “can’t do anything about it approach” was the wrong one to take. The reality is that I have a minimum wage job, no health insurance, and no means to pay for treatment I am likely to require. My sister made me an appointment on February 4th to get it check out, but I know what the answer is very likely to be, and I’m honestly not sure I want to hear it.
But at the same time, I have to know, and I have to do something about it. I have a daughter that depends on me. I have family that actually cares about me. So I must do what I can, even if I have no idea how.